I miss you

Sadness has been attacking me these past few days. I am missing someone so terribly sometimes I couldn't help but cry. I've been with this someone almost 1/3 of my life until now. I just don't understand why.

Maybe because we have changed. He changed and so am I. In so many ways, I can tell that we are not the same people anymore. Yeah, I guess, that's why I'm sad. Because the people that we are before were more passionate, intimate, considerate, loving, caring... those people were more careful not to hurt each other, and in case, will immediately apologize even if the other is at fault, will talk about things or problems to solve, and not fight over it. I miss them, I miss you.

This realization come afloat while I was trying to help a friend; when I was forced to be in the hot seat and was bombarded with a lot of questions by 2 unmarried women with two different situations in their current relationships. The questions were not hard. But it made me dig deep... deep down my memory chest. Slowly, as I rekindle my memories one by one, I began to realize that these are merely memories. None of this are happening anymore. And now this memories are eating me.

I wish he could read this in time, before I wear myself out in tears and sadness. He knew that I am sad, that I am crying... but we never figured out why. I never get to open up myself anymore. This kind of emotion is something that will kill him. We've grown together yet apart in a way, that we can't understand each others feelings. Sometimes I feel he doesn't realize he's hurting me with his words. Sometimes I don't feel loved.

But this is just my side of the story. And maybe will only be the one I'll know.

This words seemed fit to everything that I am feeling now...

I miss us, I miss you...