Not long ago, the battle began. I was in pain but I did not question, why? All I know, is that this will soon be over. I wanted it to be over so badly that I make my own research, consider different treatment and insists on doing them. I asked the Lord, for guidance, courage, strength, healing... but why does it seem so long?
"No.", I said. I should never give up. I will do everything in my powers to ensure that healing will be awarded. I prayed so hard as I always do. But now, I prayed even more for this is something that I could not let go, just like that.
But then, after a very critical argument, I had my realization.
This is not my battle. It is my sisters'.
I love her so much and like a mother to her daughter, motherly care came out. I couldn't bear to just sit and wait. And like any mother would do to one stubborn child, I had to make my voice heard. I am so sorry we got into that argument just because I wanted to do all sorts of things that will lead to her healing. But the Lord knows I can only do as much, I don't. I didn't realize that I was pushing her so much. I wanted to do everything for her. That if it's even possible to take her place, I would. But, help will only be as effective, if there is willingness to be helped. She has to find her way out of this battle, not through hearing my voice or her family's, but His.
I was so blinded by the objective that I wanted to do, by the love I have for her and by the fear of losing her that I didn't see the love of God for her and the objective that He wanted to do in her life. I kept on telling her that, but I seemed to have forgotten. Now, I will continue to support her in everything that she need. I have never given up on her, I will continue to pray for her, but I think my part is done.
From hereon, Lord, I surrender all my thoughts, my fears. I give you my full trust.
Thy will,be done.
Hebrews 10:35-36
This is not my battle. It is my sisters'.
I love her so much and like a mother to her daughter, motherly care came out. I couldn't bear to just sit and wait. And like any mother would do to one stubborn child, I had to make my voice heard. I am so sorry we got into that argument just because I wanted to do all sorts of things that will lead to her healing. But the Lord knows I can only do as much, I don't. I didn't realize that I was pushing her so much. I wanted to do everything for her. That if it's even possible to take her place, I would. But, help will only be as effective, if there is willingness to be helped. She has to find her way out of this battle, not through hearing my voice or her family's, but His.
I was so blinded by the objective that I wanted to do, by the love I have for her and by the fear of losing her that I didn't see the love of God for her and the objective that He wanted to do in her life. I kept on telling her that, but I seemed to have forgotten. Now, I will continue to support her in everything that she need. I have never given up on her, I will continue to pray for her, but I think my part is done.
From hereon, Lord, I surrender all my thoughts, my fears. I give you my full trust.
Thy will,be done.
Hebrews 10:35-36
